{managing stress}

For quite some time now I've been juggling waaaay too many balls.

It started with moving to a new city, in a new state... Setting up a new home, starting a new job, remembering which bus route to take home... Then I needed to get my Gussy business going again {I had accidentally taken a month off because our 2-week trip to Minneapolis turned into hey mom and dad, we're moving to Minneapolis}.

Then Christmas came and went, slapping me hard in the face how much I miss my family. Then Blissdom came and went, then my grandma passed away last week.

Then, then, then.

Since August, I've been adding to my plate, never once taking something off in exchange for something new. I've always loved to multi-task, to organize, to coordinate.

About 2 months ago I started forgetting things, silly little things that I normally wouldn't forget. Actually, it's very easy for me to remember a handful of things. Zack has always commented how crazy it is that I can remember the most random of things :)

This forgetfulness was my first sign that I was doing too much. Yes, my body has given me warning signs here and there, but I figured that was normal for working 70 hours/week.

Really?
70 hours?

Yes :(

I am building a business, I'm going to be tired, I thought...

There's so much that I'm feeling and it's weighing so heavily on my heart {in more ways than one} and I can hardly take it anymore. I need to make some serious changes.

I absolutely must. slow. down, because yesterday I met with a co-worker for our weekly update and all of this spilled out, a little unintentionally, but she shared some great tips for me to try.

It made me realize that I've been doing so many things wrong for way too long.

Like working myself to near exhaustion most days of the week.
Like not saying out loud that I've got too much on my plate {aside from thinking about it all day long...}
Like trying to do this all on my own {instead of praying or talking about it more}.

When you keep things to yourself I feel like it's way easy to blow them out of proportion and worry about them way more than need be.

At least that's how it's been for me.

The pressure to work a day job, build this sewing business, be a wife {cook, clean, organize things, etc.}, plus visit with the few friends I have in town, keep up with our family in Michigan -- not to mention relax and take time for myself -- was burning me out.

Zack offers to help with so many things, he's got such an amazing, gracious heart, but... there's just too much on my {our} plate.

It seems like we're expected to multi-task every waking second. And you know what? I'm sick of it. I don't want to. I want to read my friend's blogs, meet friends for coffee, go to work, sew, spend time with my husband -- and I don't want to be expected to do five things at once. I don't! I feel like yes, we need to constantly be learning new things and challenge ourselves. But no, I'm not going to be available 24/7. I'm not going to check my email 100 times a day. I'm going to "leave work" when my sewing work is done more often than I have done in the past.

Seems like most of this stress is because I am an emotional person. You talk to me, share your heart, and I will feel what you are expressing. I care about the people in my life so it's easy for me to carry their pain.

I've carried months of emotional and professional "baggage" that I feel myself slouching from all the weight.

And I'm only 5'4" -- c'mon, this Gussy girl needs to extend vertically, not the other way ;)

This makes me stop and think: Is this how Christ felt? Carrying the weight of others pain -- all the time?

It's really become more like anxiety for me, feeling like I have SOMUCH to accomplish and only thismuch time to get it all done.

Some days I feel like it's just too much. Like I can't continue to carry this weight for another hour. I need to talk these feelings out, realize that these burdens need to be brought to the feet of Christ. And then I need to leave them there and walk away.

I feel like I've worked too much these last few months, yet at the same time I feel like I never get enough done with Gussy. Sewing is so exciting for me that I don't ever want to stop being Gussy. There's always more that I want to do, that needs to be done, that could be done... New ideas, find new fabric designs, new blogs, new post topics...

If Gussy is going to grow any more, I've got to let God show me how that's going to happen. I can only do sew much.
:)

{This is a good time to say, It's not my problem, and let God take care of it.}

I've been too busy these last few months that I haven't taken enough care of myself. My life is too scheduled. There isn't any free time because any potential free time I find myself knee-deep in fabric and my sewing machine...

I don't give myself "Maggie time", just Gussy time.

Yesterday, I realized I need to force myself to sit on the couch. To take a nap. To breath some fresh air. I go from building to building and never take my eyes off the path from A to B. All of this commotion is causing me stress, anxiety, and just an overall dissatisfaction because I don't have any down time. And I don't want to feel this way because this is how God wants me to feel.

My friend at work suggested I get up early and take some time for myself. That "scheduling" time for myself will allow me to relax. How many times have I heard this, and when I am going to put it into practice?!

Umm, last night.

Last night Zack and I went out with some friends after work. That is step #1 {be more spontaneous}.


Here are some more steps I'm going to take so I can take better care of myself:

Learn to say no!

• I'm important and my emotional health must come first
• stretching myself too thin will only make things worse in the end {hello, isn't that the heart of this post?!}
• date nights with Zack are precious; continue to find time for these 1-2x/week

Turn off email alerts {computer and iPhone}

• I did this a few weeks ago on my home computer and it's been the most beneficial decision because I can focus more of my energy on my current project. Less noise = less distraction
  
• having a cell phone doesn't mean I'm available 24/7 {and I mean this in the most kindest way, specifically with emails}
  
• life is about living whole-heartily. How can I do that if I'm available to everyone/thing all the time??

Stop multi-tasking

• I need to protect my self {my sanity, my brain, my body}
• work harder at only doing ONLY 2-3 things at a time {for example: cooking dinner, talking to Zack, drinking some wine}
• give more of my attention and creative spirit to each individual project/book/conversation, etc.
  

Take time for myself

• get up early and read a devotional. Think about what I want to accomplish for the day and what types of fun memories I want to make.
  
• "schedule" time to relax on the couch, outside, etc.
• allow my mind to unwind so I can offer a clear, attentive mind to my projects when it's time to work

Slow down with the sewing

• if this business is meant to be, it will be
• try to be more realistic with what I can accomplish with the time I have to sew
• stop. freaking. out. if I can't get it all done on time
  

So what do you think?